There comes a time in every person's life when they come to the realisation that their Inner Child is in actual fact not so Inner, and it becomes necessary to physically reach in and drag out one's Inner Adult instead, kicking and screaming into Real Life.
It's that time for me.
And oh, how painful it is!
What do you mean I mainly use the car so I have to fill it with petrol?!
What do you mean I have to spend half my fortnightly pay on my share of the electricity bill?!
SINCE WHEN DID YOGHURT COST SO MUCH?!
This bullshit, I tell you, bullshit!
So 2014 is a big year for me. Mainly because it's when I finish my double degree and graduate, essentially ending over seventeen years of formal education.
Let me explain what that is to me: it means that come this March, the time when I usually go back to uni (and before that in February when I started school every year since forever), I will have nothing to do except lead my now undoubtedly exciting, fast-paced, independent and penniless Adult life.
It is at this point that I interject with the most heartfelt "ALLONS-Y!" seen yet:
So from here on out, this recording-of-adventures is undertaking a slight...rebranding, wherein I take the "going places" moniker to more metaphorical directions. I may not be going places physically (though that sure as hell is still happening), but I'm going places in my career, in what I learn and my place in the world.
I want to record those kinds of adventures here just as much as I want the travelling kind, because keeping records of my internship is part of my assessment, but also because to me it's just as important.
So! My mission this year for myself consists of these main goals:
- Find an internship (which will satisfy the last of my course requirements so I can graduate)
- Get as much experience as possible (so as many internships/work experience as possible)
- Apply to as many jobs/graduate positions as possible (things that would start in 2015)
- Quit travelling so damn much and save money (hahahahahahahahaha ahhh I'm funny)
Guess what! Mission One is already accomplished!
In fact, I already have two internships lined up, meaning I'm also a good way through satisfying Mission Two.
In mid-January (just as I was just starting to panic about having nothing and just being unwanted in general), several things happened in quick succession.
I went in for an interview at Beyond Blue, which is an extremely important nation-wide organisation that aims to spread awareness for and put place in programs to support people suffering from depression and anxiety.
Though my placement at BB could've been my subject internship for my uni course, it won't be, and is instead basically just me volunteering for a few weeks, and as depression and anxiety is an immensely important topic for me, it's a privilege to be able to help them out.
But! It means I get to kinda work in a proper office for the first time!
It's not like I've never been in an office before, but I mean that I get my own email account, my own desk and computer, and have time to become familiar with the exact way to get the best toasted sandwich out of the press in the kitchen.
 |
| I get a name tag and everything! |
And you get your toe into the office family (I have a feeling the BB office people are exceptionally friendly, surely not every office environment is this friendly it's ridiculous):
 |
| Part of the team! (though I don't know who mans this twitter account or if they're in the office or actually know me or if I stole their mug I feel this might become awkward). (It's a really nice mug). Edit: ran into random bloke in the office kitchen a few days later and he was like, oh yes I know you! Cue me freaking out, when he goes, I'm BB's social media manager! You had the mug! So yes, awks anyway. I should be a fortune teller. |
It also means I am the recipient of all the general office-wide emails, which to my surprise includes things like organising massage appointments, calls for lost scrunchies, lunch, and press releases.
I am also required to navigate Outlook for the first time.
IT guy: Here's your Outlook account -
Me: Mine? Like I get my own email? People can send me things just to me?
IT guy: ...yes. So I assume you know how to use Outlook?
Me: I still use my hotmail account Sure, yes, of course. Yes.
 |
| Yeahhhh tallulah.robinson@beyondblue.org. |
My task here at BB is to research the companies of possible future partners of the organisation for funding. It's not hard, and a little dull, but it's pretty important actually, and my lovely supervisor seems grateful for whatever I manage to get down.
It's not necessary for me to keep record of what I do here but I may keep tabs for my own amusement and posterity.
On the subject of the quest to find jobs/internships/work of any kind, I'd like to go into the dreaded interview process. This isn't going to be a guide on how to do them (I'm 22 and have done like 6 what the frak do I know), but in the spirit of learning about yourself by getting out of your comfort zone, here's what I've found.
I've had some good interviews (they sure as hell didn't feel like it at the time, but I suppose they went well because I got the gig), and some bloody horrific ones (if ever I get a big head at any part of my life, point me in the direction of the email I got from one which outlined why I did not get the gig).
My latest interview was to try and get an internship - The One that would be my subject for my course (to me it was seriously The One, I wanted it badly) - at Edelman, which is one of the world's biggest PR agencies. It's funny because the average person has never heard of them - I think I like that part about this industry, everyone knows their work but no one knows who they are. It's a good conversation starter.
Point being, I got the gig. I am excite. No, really.
 |
| Spoiler alert: may have actually cried. |
It was basically an exercise in anxiety, and this was just a 24-hour mild episode, so major respect to those who deal with that kind of shit for years on end. I know my special interest in the topic and my working at Beyond Blue puts this kind of thing in sharp relief for me, but please, please, please remember that some people's brains turn on them, and to never judge, always be patient, always considerate and always respectful to people you meet, because you don't know what's going on inside them. Because it is honestly scary what my brain was telling me in that short space of time, and how stupid it was in retrospect; but it was scary mainly because I know how pitifully pale my anxiety was compared to what it can do to others.
What mainly brought this crap on, in fact, was two things.
First, as I was leaving, my interviewer said, "We'll be in touch."
We'll be in touch - what an awful, awful set of words. Is it just me or do they just automatically translate in your head as "hahahaha bye oh god now I have to write a diplomatic 'frak off' email to this person".
Of course, there isn't a huge amount else to say on their part when you leave an interview, because of course they technically will be in touch, and often enough with the good kind of touching that was less weird in my head.
The other thing is something unique to me, and something that I'm only starting to learn about myself: I'm really weird in interviews.
I'm not hugely nervous or unprepared (though that certainly doesn't help), I'm extremely...subdued. I can't think of another word to describe it. I guess it's because I'm not the kind of person to be really bubbly and outgoing with people I've never met, when I don't know them, when they don't know me, and especially in a professional setting.
But it's not a very good thing at all, especially when the general rule of business is literally to fake it 'til you make it and I am an extremely not-fake kind of person, and incapable of partaking in that kind of networky/socialising subterfuge that comes naturally to so many.
It's gotten me into crap as well, when I missed out on a job at a global advertising agency literally because "you didn't seem very enthusiastic".
During THAT interview, I had a very bizarre experience. I was shown their creative room and process, the kind of work they do and the clients they're working on and inside I was fizzling with marketingy excitement.
But on the outside - whether it was nerves, misguided professionalism or deep doubts about myself and the opportunity - I could literally feel myself looking like I was too school for cool.
It was exceptionally terrible this time with Edelman because I truly, truly wanted this thing, and I was so afraid I had ruined it by being a bizarre, subdued wet fish of a candidate. Especially in the PR industry, which is famous for being comprised solely of up-beat, hip, thin and fashionable young women (to me at least. I'm definitely being a presumptuous dick).
It affected me to the extent that I sent an email to my interviewer that night basically being like "hahahaha hi I'm actually not weird or boring really really trust me hi hahaha".
The email was never mentioned when we spoke next, but for all I know, it was the deciding factor between a yes and a no!
Except for how it was most likely in my head the whole time.
So...I suppose what you should take from this is - learn from your experiences. Self-reflect - a lot, especially if you're in a period of your life of Great Change.
Don't make the same mistakes again.
And sometimes your brain is just an arsehole.
Until next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment